In the middle of hot summer in1979 in South Korea, a poor seminarian family had their second daughter. The father, who had just graduated from the seminary, was called from a house church in a rural area. Living in a more urbanized part of Seoul in his grandmother’s house, he stayed at the church during the weekends and came back home for the family during the weekdays. When his second child was born, he decided that it is better for his family to stay together, so they moved into the village where the church was located. It was not easy, however, for the family couldn’t afford to rent a house to live since he was not being paid by the church—the church couldn’t afford to pay him, too. Thankfully, there came one of the church members who was willing to help by providing a room for the poor seminarian family. It was a very small and dark place without a window or an air conditioning system. Nevertheless, the father and the mother of the child never complained. They served gladly for three years, and when the father had a calling, they moved to another place to start a new mission church. It was not easy this time, too. The father set up a tent in front of their house to worship. The little child who was still young, saw how the church members started to grow in numbers that they filled the tent. It was then that the church finally built their own building with bricks and woods for the first time in three years. As the church grew, so did the little child grow as a pastor’s kid, and the child, the little Young Kim, was starting to step closer into the church with her own eyes and understanding.
I remember clearly how my parents were devoted to their ministry and were pleased to serve God and the congregation members. I was also naturally invited to devote myself to my parents’ ministry such as participating in the choir, playing drums in a worship praise team for Sunday evening worship, teaching Bible in Sunday school, and so many big and small volunteering positions that one could think of. My father always opened up and shared his challenges and church issues with us and asked our opinions. I felt that I was very engaged and always interested in the ministry. This worked as a significantly valuable asset for me, but it also became a knife and started to create holes and cuts inside me.
When I entered into a college, I started to drift away little by little from the church. For one part, I was very busy as I have actively participated in different clubs and activities at the college; however, for another part, I was plainly sick of the people in the church. I began to see how people were divided into groups within the church and how they hid their two-faced attitudes. As I drifted away from the church, so did my faith toward God. I started to feel dry and empty within me. I had neither hope nor interest for the future just like a boat floating in the ocean without a boatman. I sent out my resume to numbers of companies but received no answer from any of them as if to reflect my interest towards their company. Finally, I was hired at a small entertainment company, which was far from what I have expected. I dreamed to become a music producer or a program director, but the reality was just physical labor. They did not expect nor care what skill or experience I had to contribute to the company. Under the hard labor of so many unstable hours of work and little salary, I continued to strive for the worth of living and why I was there. When, at last, I made up my mind to leave the company, I was determined to find something that I can devote my life to—something valuable and meaningful—just like my parents did.
In the mean time, my mother suggested me to go to a retreat center to pray and ask God. There, I met a pastor who was a guest preacher at my church before. While I was wrestling with God by praying and reading the Bible, he guided and counseled me to find out God’s will. I simply asked God in my prayers what God wanted me to do, but God answered me in the way of showing myself as a miserable sinner. Then God showed me how God loved me, the sinner, by reviewing every moments of my life. I realized and accepted that God wanted me to become a minister, regardless of how much I have been denying it since I was very young.
My next step suggested by the pastor was to go to a seminary and study theology. I still remember that I could not learn a word of Greek and Hebrew without tears. I was overwhelmed merely by the fact that I was actually learning the original language that the Word of God was written, the language that Jesus used to use when he was on the Earth to die and live for me. I felt that I was coming closer to God as I sought to understand the deeper meaning and the hidden nuances of the Bible. I was learning the languages to speak of God, who we are, what salvation is, and so much more. Every course was a great joy to me, and I was overflowing with joy when I was heading back home after each day.
While studying in the seminary, I served in youth and young adult ministry at a church near the school. I learned that heartfelt listening and understanding was much appreciated by the young people. I also learned that most of the younger generation in the church lacked affection and that they really needed attention and care. I invited them to my apartment frequently and fed them, played with them and listened to them. They began to open up their heart and share their thoughts and feelings in the times of joy and trouble. This relationship I built up with them and the church started to pull back my passion towards working for the church and I was walking closer day by day to find the worth and value of my life as a servant of God—a value that the world could not give.
My path toward ordination was another hill for me to climb. Even after earning a M.Div. degree, I couldn't be ordained since the denomination which the seminary belonged to did not ordain female ministers. I had to make another life changing decision to come to the U.S. to further study theology in advanced degree and become an ordained minister. It was another adventure for me to leave behind my dreams and life just like I did when I first decided to devote myself to God right after my graduation from college.
I came to the U.S. with the help of a Korean Lutheran pastor in ELCA Southeastern synod. The pastor helped me to settle down in Atlanta, GA, introduced the Lutheran tradition to me, and became a bridge to meet with the retired Lutheran pastors who have eventually became my mentors. During the mentoring classes, we covered Luther’s small catechism, Lutheran theology, social issues, pastoral care, preaching, not forgetting how much I improved in English and learned about the American culture. The mentoring classes are the one of the most significant times for me, for the pastors’ loving and caring spirit compelled me to become a Lutheran and join the candidacy process.
One of the mentor pastors recommended and encouraged me to work as a council member and also a director of ESL program at my church, Christ the King Lutheran Church in Peachtree Corners. I was afraid, because my English skill was not good enough to be a leader of such important ministry. While I limited my capacity, the pastor looked beyond my ability and trusted in the potential that God has given in me. She walked with me and led me to be a good leader; she had generously opened up her time and care and expanded the mentoring class into my life. Being a part of church council allowed me to see how American church is governed and how decisions were made out of deep discussions and thoughtful considerations. It was a treasurable experience for me to participate in the lay leadership position and to understand the needs and concerns. Also, through the ESL program, I was able to meet and talk with so many people from different nations regardless their religion and culture. People freely came to the church and became friends with one another. Most of all, they felt God’s love and peace through the teachers and people in the church and became curious about Christianity. It definitely was an international mission that gave us the opportunity to spread the Gospel without requiring us to use so much time and money for it. People from all over the world are living very close to us and with us. All we should do is to reach out our loving and caring hands and open our eyes, ears, heart, and mind to see, hear, feel, and learn what they have inside them to share with us their stories and experiences.
I participated in Stephen Minister’s training for 50 hours. It is a one-on-one pastoral care and counseling program. The training covered so many areas such as divorce, suicide, loss of job, loss of beloved person, death and dying, serious illness, and etc. Here, I learned that active and non-judgmental listening is very crucial in care and counseling ministry. I also learned that we are not a fixer or curer, but we walk beside the care receiver and help him or her to find a way to overcome the difficulties that the person faces. I also completed one unit of Clinical Pastoral Education at Emory University Hospital. It was one of the most difficult but memorable moments in my learning experience. I had 17 deaths during my on call duty and met almost 150 patients during three months. I deeply realized that I am nothing and I felt that I am helpless in such devastated situations. But I also realized that God was always good and that God used me as God’s instrument to be with them and to pray and encourage them to get through their significant moments. Every moment that I met with the patients was valuable since those moments were when strangers became good friends, and we prayed and cried out together even though we had different religions.
On October 26, 2014, my friend and I initiated an International mission church with all Korean congregations at our house. A month later, the synod graciously allowed us to use a synod-owned church building in Doraville. On February 22, 2015, a Korean African-American joined the worship and still continues to attend. On March 1, 2015, a Chinese visitor came to worship. On March 8, 2015, an Iranian family of four that includes two children of ages 2 and 4 visited the church and still continues to attend. As soon as the church shifted the common language used from Korean to English, there have been newcomers of different ethnicity every week who showed willingness to join the mission. As one of the leaders of a new start, I had to play so many roles in it. I created bulletin every week, designed a website, evangelized, provided pastoral care and counseling, led staff meeting and other events, etc. I began to think of my father and mother when they started a new mission in a tent. How must have they felt and with what determination and joy had they served God and loved the congregation.
My life still goes on with wonder and joy as well as struggles and hardships. However, in the midst of all these, God is being sincere and faithful by never letting go of my hand and keeping God’s promise that God will always be by my side. Starting a new mission served as a momentum to recognize my weaknesses and that I have still so much to learn, especially the administrative part of a church and organizing the worship itself. I prayed to God to teach me how to run a mission and be a good leader that God wants.
I remember clearly how my parents were devoted to their ministry and were pleased to serve God and the congregation members. I was also naturally invited to devote myself to my parents’ ministry such as participating in the choir, playing drums in a worship praise team for Sunday evening worship, teaching Bible in Sunday school, and so many big and small volunteering positions that one could think of. My father always opened up and shared his challenges and church issues with us and asked our opinions. I felt that I was very engaged and always interested in the ministry. This worked as a significantly valuable asset for me, but it also became a knife and started to create holes and cuts inside me.
When I entered into a college, I started to drift away little by little from the church. For one part, I was very busy as I have actively participated in different clubs and activities at the college; however, for another part, I was plainly sick of the people in the church. I began to see how people were divided into groups within the church and how they hid their two-faced attitudes. As I drifted away from the church, so did my faith toward God. I started to feel dry and empty within me. I had neither hope nor interest for the future just like a boat floating in the ocean without a boatman. I sent out my resume to numbers of companies but received no answer from any of them as if to reflect my interest towards their company. Finally, I was hired at a small entertainment company, which was far from what I have expected. I dreamed to become a music producer or a program director, but the reality was just physical labor. They did not expect nor care what skill or experience I had to contribute to the company. Under the hard labor of so many unstable hours of work and little salary, I continued to strive for the worth of living and why I was there. When, at last, I made up my mind to leave the company, I was determined to find something that I can devote my life to—something valuable and meaningful—just like my parents did.
In the mean time, my mother suggested me to go to a retreat center to pray and ask God. There, I met a pastor who was a guest preacher at my church before. While I was wrestling with God by praying and reading the Bible, he guided and counseled me to find out God’s will. I simply asked God in my prayers what God wanted me to do, but God answered me in the way of showing myself as a miserable sinner. Then God showed me how God loved me, the sinner, by reviewing every moments of my life. I realized and accepted that God wanted me to become a minister, regardless of how much I have been denying it since I was very young.
My next step suggested by the pastor was to go to a seminary and study theology. I still remember that I could not learn a word of Greek and Hebrew without tears. I was overwhelmed merely by the fact that I was actually learning the original language that the Word of God was written, the language that Jesus used to use when he was on the Earth to die and live for me. I felt that I was coming closer to God as I sought to understand the deeper meaning and the hidden nuances of the Bible. I was learning the languages to speak of God, who we are, what salvation is, and so much more. Every course was a great joy to me, and I was overflowing with joy when I was heading back home after each day.
While studying in the seminary, I served in youth and young adult ministry at a church near the school. I learned that heartfelt listening and understanding was much appreciated by the young people. I also learned that most of the younger generation in the church lacked affection and that they really needed attention and care. I invited them to my apartment frequently and fed them, played with them and listened to them. They began to open up their heart and share their thoughts and feelings in the times of joy and trouble. This relationship I built up with them and the church started to pull back my passion towards working for the church and I was walking closer day by day to find the worth and value of my life as a servant of God—a value that the world could not give.
My path toward ordination was another hill for me to climb. Even after earning a M.Div. degree, I couldn't be ordained since the denomination which the seminary belonged to did not ordain female ministers. I had to make another life changing decision to come to the U.S. to further study theology in advanced degree and become an ordained minister. It was another adventure for me to leave behind my dreams and life just like I did when I first decided to devote myself to God right after my graduation from college.
I came to the U.S. with the help of a Korean Lutheran pastor in ELCA Southeastern synod. The pastor helped me to settle down in Atlanta, GA, introduced the Lutheran tradition to me, and became a bridge to meet with the retired Lutheran pastors who have eventually became my mentors. During the mentoring classes, we covered Luther’s small catechism, Lutheran theology, social issues, pastoral care, preaching, not forgetting how much I improved in English and learned about the American culture. The mentoring classes are the one of the most significant times for me, for the pastors’ loving and caring spirit compelled me to become a Lutheran and join the candidacy process.
One of the mentor pastors recommended and encouraged me to work as a council member and also a director of ESL program at my church, Christ the King Lutheran Church in Peachtree Corners. I was afraid, because my English skill was not good enough to be a leader of such important ministry. While I limited my capacity, the pastor looked beyond my ability and trusted in the potential that God has given in me. She walked with me and led me to be a good leader; she had generously opened up her time and care and expanded the mentoring class into my life. Being a part of church council allowed me to see how American church is governed and how decisions were made out of deep discussions and thoughtful considerations. It was a treasurable experience for me to participate in the lay leadership position and to understand the needs and concerns. Also, through the ESL program, I was able to meet and talk with so many people from different nations regardless their religion and culture. People freely came to the church and became friends with one another. Most of all, they felt God’s love and peace through the teachers and people in the church and became curious about Christianity. It definitely was an international mission that gave us the opportunity to spread the Gospel without requiring us to use so much time and money for it. People from all over the world are living very close to us and with us. All we should do is to reach out our loving and caring hands and open our eyes, ears, heart, and mind to see, hear, feel, and learn what they have inside them to share with us their stories and experiences.
I participated in Stephen Minister’s training for 50 hours. It is a one-on-one pastoral care and counseling program. The training covered so many areas such as divorce, suicide, loss of job, loss of beloved person, death and dying, serious illness, and etc. Here, I learned that active and non-judgmental listening is very crucial in care and counseling ministry. I also learned that we are not a fixer or curer, but we walk beside the care receiver and help him or her to find a way to overcome the difficulties that the person faces. I also completed one unit of Clinical Pastoral Education at Emory University Hospital. It was one of the most difficult but memorable moments in my learning experience. I had 17 deaths during my on call duty and met almost 150 patients during three months. I deeply realized that I am nothing and I felt that I am helpless in such devastated situations. But I also realized that God was always good and that God used me as God’s instrument to be with them and to pray and encourage them to get through their significant moments. Every moment that I met with the patients was valuable since those moments were when strangers became good friends, and we prayed and cried out together even though we had different religions.
On October 26, 2014, my friend and I initiated an International mission church with all Korean congregations at our house. A month later, the synod graciously allowed us to use a synod-owned church building in Doraville. On February 22, 2015, a Korean African-American joined the worship and still continues to attend. On March 1, 2015, a Chinese visitor came to worship. On March 8, 2015, an Iranian family of four that includes two children of ages 2 and 4 visited the church and still continues to attend. As soon as the church shifted the common language used from Korean to English, there have been newcomers of different ethnicity every week who showed willingness to join the mission. As one of the leaders of a new start, I had to play so many roles in it. I created bulletin every week, designed a website, evangelized, provided pastoral care and counseling, led staff meeting and other events, etc. I began to think of my father and mother when they started a new mission in a tent. How must have they felt and with what determination and joy had they served God and loved the congregation.
My life still goes on with wonder and joy as well as struggles and hardships. However, in the midst of all these, God is being sincere and faithful by never letting go of my hand and keeping God’s promise that God will always be by my side. Starting a new mission served as a momentum to recognize my weaknesses and that I have still so much to learn, especially the administrative part of a church and organizing the worship itself. I prayed to God to teach me how to run a mission and be a good leader that God wants.